Skip to main content

Sometimes in parenting - zen is illusive

Perhaps the title of this blog is a bit pompous. Some days it feels like you're on top of the world and that you can totally control the chaos that is every day life. But there are also days where you are beat down. Children see the chink in the armor. They know when you're stressed out. They can smell the fact your control is teetering on the brink of the precipice.

This is when we look to our partners to step in. To help us keep our cool. And 9 times out of 10 they are there for us. But with two working parents, there are going to be days when they're not in that head space. So we yell when we shouldn't. We snap at our partners in front of the children. We hold back tears or sometimes we just cry.

Yeah, I've been there too. Sleep, hope for a better day tomorrow. Find a sympathetic ear. I can't promise it will get better but I can say that there are other parents in the same place, dealing with the same struggles, trying to make it from one day to the next. Too often we paint a Hollywood-inspired picture of parenting. Don't let those expectations weigh on your shoulders. Be there. Be authentic. When issues don't all resolve in an easily-digested and entertaining sitcom story line, your children will learn what it is to be persistent in the face of failure.

Popular posts from this blog

Instant Pot yogurt - failure and success

Here in the frenzy, we sometimes learn from failure. And sometimes I just make a slightly different mistake on the second attempt. So I previously discussed that I ended up making two changes to my yogurt routine at once, and thus was unable to isolate which was the cause of failure. I decided to avoid too much of a blow-by-blow by doing two more rounds of yogurt so I could actually post something that has a chance of being useful. To recap a bit, I got this heritage yogurt starter: The package comes with two packets of dried granules that look like the bread yeast packets that you put in the freezer. I followed the included instructions to heat the milk, cool it to 110 degrees Fahrenheit and then add the packet. If you read carefully, it also comes with the disclaimer that this may not produce a firm yogurt the first time around but that the second time you use a starter to make yogurt the bacteria would become substantial enough to make yogurt. I decided to hedge my be

We didn't buy a diamond ring and it wasn't about saving money

Early before the coalescence of the frenzy, we had started to form our family values. One of our now well-established family values is that we try to minimize harm caused by what we buy. We don't always succeed but there is one thing we avoided from the very beginning because of the incredible damage it has done around the globe. Buying a diamond ring. This was particularly my hang up perhaps caused by Leonardo DiCaprio's attempt at a South African accent . I would not spend money on a diamond ring. But I also didn't want to seem cheap to my soon to be bride, which was entirely in my head and had nothing to do with what she thought of me. So I started the delicate dance of figuring out if we were in the 100 percent getting married camp while bringing up my ethical dilemma. Luckily, I was not left wanting for clues on this one. It was made very clear that we were indeed in camp and that we should get started on pitching the tent before midnight. I got lucky bec

What is the frenzy?

For us, the frenzy is 2 careers, 2 children, 3 large extended families from 2 cultures... So basically the frenzy is the everyday life of 2 working parents with too much to do. We generally have to live in a constant state of chaos where we text and call each other and extended family members trying to figure out the intersection of our calendars that allows us to pick up or drop off children, get groceries, do laundry, etc. I can't say that we have found the perfect solution to managing this chaos we call the frenzy. But we have found a few coping mechanisms that work for us. Perhaps along the way we will share a few that will work for you as well. Or they won't. Giving advise to parents is usually a hazardous pursuit to engage in. Whatever we know is based on our children who have their own special soup of nature and nurture that differs significantly from any others. Especially those children that walk quietly behind their parents in the grocery store. But m